From One Addiction To Another

Hello everyone,

My name is Mary. I'm 22 years old and I live in England. I am disabled, and I live with my mum, an addict. Since I was 14, my mum has been a prescription drug addict (codeine and valium) but she has also had many problems with over-the-counter drugs such as Nurofen Plus. She used to be addicted to Nytol but did very well at giving that up.

My mum is my best friend. I don't really see her as a mum to be honest, more of a confidant and companion. We've always been close because I grew up with no father and no siblings. But, it all came crashing down when we moved in to our own home.

I lived in my first home from ages 0-7, where my mum was active, healthy and looked after me- a special needs child suffering both mentally and physically at that point- to the best of her ability.

When I turned 7, it all became too much for her and we moved in with my grandparents. For 7 years, they took care of my mum and I, and tended to our needs so well. Unfortunately, they became too old and needed to look out for themselves, so mum and I moved into a council house. That was when the problems started.

Her doctor at that time was a very selfish man, and as long as he didn't have to deal with her, he would let her do as she pleased. This meant irresponsible prescribing, and sometimes he would give her upwards of 56 DF118s per day. I used to visit him and beg him to stop, but he just used to reply "better this than her turning to alcohol"...

Eventually, the doctor retired and my mum was finally able to start recovering. The panic became overwhelming for her, and she turned to over the counter drugs- cocodamol or Nurofen Plus and Nytol.

Fast forward to December 2013 (I had just turned 21), and my mum fell into a coma. It lasted 4 days and they were the worst days of my life. I didn't think she would pull through, but somehow, she did. She got lucky. She gave up Nurofen Plus and Nytol cold turkey and, for about 9 months, life was completely different. She was doing amazingly. Although she was still on her prescription meds, she was coming off them slowly and things were the best they'd been since we first moved into our home.

Then, a slip up occurred. My mum has a very very addictive personality, and whilst a slip up would usually end up being just a blip for some, for my mum, it was the beginning of it all starting up again. She got back onto Nurofen Plus and for a really long time, battled with that. I started paying my best friend to become a live-in carer and she would talk to mum about the mess it had all become. So mum gave up, again, but did the unthinkable- she turned to drinking.

That was hell on earth, though it was a short, two week run. It was awful because, up until that point, my mum had been T-Total, and had seen first hand how dangerous alcoholism is because her mum had been an alcoholic. There was an awful incident involving vodka, hospitals and her bedroom door coming off its hinges, and this was what woke her up.

But when it comes to my mum, there always has to be something. She can't just 'give up' without replacing it. So, in present day, she has turned to Marijuana. Our neighbour's ex husband grows his own, so she has been getting it in huge bulk from him. And since she's been on the stuff, I haven't really seen her because all she does is sleep and smoke.

I miss my mum terribly, but it seems she has lost the zest for life. And as a result, so have I. It's sad that we live under the same roof, and yet, I haven't spoken to her in days and days. An hour ago, I told my carer to tell her that I miss her, and she didn't even respond. What makes me sad about Marijuana is that it clouds your brain, eliminates all worries and cares. Don't get me wrong, I actually think Marijuana can be a GOOD thing. Especially if eaten with food for medicinal purposes, with high CBD low THC strains. But now in my mum's case. When it comes to my mum, it is an absolute monster, and I hate that she has such easy access to it.

Anyway, if you're still reading by this point, thank you for putting up with my vent. I was feeling really suicidal before joining this forum, so I thought actually telling someone may help. So, this is my mum's story- very very briefly- for you all. Does anyone else have similar situations?

Looking forward to talking!Mary