My mum and I


Hello :) This may just be the group that I need.

My mum has been an alcoholic for nearly 40 years.  She wakes up, has a black coffee at 6am, and by 8am she’s on the cider/lager/beer.  I’m the youngest of hers at 24 and my brother and sister are 38. 

I no longer live at home, but when I come back, life is more unbearable in that one week than it has been in my 18 years of living at home as she is constantly getting worse.  She is the most vile women in the world.  She is selfish, she is rude, she is verbally abusive.  She is at the state where her body has shut down because of alcohol: she has no feeling in her body, she can’t walk, her teeth are black, her skin is saggy…She's also definitely not "with it" anymore: repeating herself after 5 minutes, speaking for the sake of it, channel-hopping the telly every 5 minutes, filling and refilling and boiling and reboiling the kettle (which I think may be because she does things she can do to feel like a normal person?)...

We have done all we can: we have got help for her, we’ve stopped access to alcohol from her, etc. but she is in denial.  She isn’t an alcoholic, she’s never drunk, she’s just sick of living with us.  We’re all fat and lazy and horrible to her, because she does EVERYTHING around the house….  Obviously, she can’t even walk or barely lift things up, so it’s ridiculous denial.

The massive issue I now have is a couple of years ago my Dad had a stroke.  He is now very disabled: no use in his left side of this body etc.  However, she is HORRIBLE to him and I can’t bear it – he’s lazy, he can’t even get dressed himself, he can’t have sex (yes, EVERYONE must know this according to my mum). 

He has also always been in denial.  He supplies her with the overload of booze, even though he is aware of how horrible she is.  I will never ever understand this and I worry it’s affecting him emotionally, but hey ho.  Any ideas!?  He doesn’t like to talk about it, so we drop it.

Anyway, it’ll be lovely to talk to people who are in a similar situation and have to deal with similar emotions that I do.