My story :)

Hello, I'm Jas and I came across this page about a month ago when my counsellor recommended I search 'living with an alcoholic', now I want to write my story.

My mum has had problems with drink for as long as I can remember, it's been up and down since I was little. I'm now 17 and at this current moment things arent great. My mum struggles with depression and was abused as a child as well as being in abusive relationships. Drinking is her way of coping but unfortunately this hasn't been good for me. Her drinking has caused lots of problems including constant home moves, bad relationships, my brother being taken with his dad and police visits. she can go days/weeks without drinking but it always comes back. Honestly, up until a few months ago, I didn't see it as a problem, it was affecting my behaviour and moods without me acknowledging everything at home being the cause. I guess I'm used to it and am used to repressing it and treating it like nothing. I'll blame myself and constantly ask what I can do to stop it.Only a few months ago I broke down in school and my teacher recommended counselling, this has really helped and now I see my problems as real problems and having people who care and will listen is a great relief.

We're meant too be kicked out in a few months due to money struggles which is stressful especially since this is an important year for me( my last year at school). I just got my AS results which were disappointing but my mind wasn't in the right place to do well. She threatens to kill herself a lot which leaves me anxious and constantly worrying, and I'm the only one who actually cares about her and is there for her. However, I know that I'll cope with it and I have wonderful support around me that I didn't realise I had. I had no idea so many people have experienced the same as me, including two of my friends!  I'm trying to realise that I'm not too blame and sometimes we're just put into hard situations but it doesn't mean we can't bloom into the people we deserve to be. Thank you for reading :)