Newbie :) Just an intro and my story
Hi :) I found this website because of Mpact, a group to help children and families of addicted parents etc. Because its the end and it's hard to go from support to nothing at all, I thought I would come here to get support after Mpact.
Im new so I thought I would introduce myself and attempt to share my story as best I can. I am only Young, so it's kind of hard to describe.
Okay. Here goes.
Im 12 years old. My alibi on this website is Madoka Hearths. I am the daughter of an addicted Dad. I have a brother too, who's still quite young so he doesn't really have a good understanding of all this. Luckily, my mum wasn't addicted which has lightened the load a bit but, nothing really was going to completely solve my Dads drug addiction.
Hes had depression, anxiety and panic attacks for a while So he always had his ups and downs. Then he got this medication that was supposed to help with his depression. I didn't really know he was taking it until it got well to far in. He had a lot more rants and mood swings which always put the family in a bad mood. I always felt like I wanted to fix it but, I knew I couldnt. It had gone far too deep. I was left helpless. My mum still managed to look after us but dad left her in abad mood sometimes. Eventually, we stopped communicating our feelings to each other and I just ended up in my own bubble of mixed emotions. It didn't help that my brother has autism which means a lot more time was and still is spent on him so I was used to being alone most of the time. Even before this, dad started getting this stuff in a coloured bag to put in his roll ups. (He want addicted to smoking) I never knew he had it, until one time I was kind of forced to stand outside the shop as mum had t buy some for him as he became addicted to that. I just couldn't understand properly. It was like I wasn't allowed to know so I didn't ask. I now know the stuff in the coloured bags was some sort of 'legal high' which makes you feel happy for a bit. This was understandable considering he has depression.
Then it came to the help and support stage for dad, where he had to go though a detox, to help get rid of the addiction. To be honest, this was the worst part. He had horrible mood swings. Sometimes he was ok, next minute he would be anxious then depressed then angry. It was hard to tell. He ranted a lot as soon as something triggered it. It was a very hard time. This was when I was old enough to fully understand. I now knew that he took Methadone (not Methadrone, please dont get confused), which was to help his depression. Because mum had to deal with dad and my brother, I was left alone most of the time, even through school. Mum still managed to come to my parents evenings etc. but it was always just mum.
About a couple months ago, dad found out about xxxx which is a support group for addictions that he went to. This lead to MPact, which offered sessions of support with other families going through addiction and the detox part and afterwards. This helped me and my dad to express our feelings and communicate better as we never got a chance to before. it helped me to get a better understanding of addiction and I got to open my eyes and get to know about others experiences which was nice and it held me alot to realise I'm not alone. My story wasn't identical, but it was similar. It was helpful. Very very helpful.
It has just ended and it's now given me a better outlook on addictions and we now have a plan to go by as a family and I feel like we are connetting better. Dads gotten better and he is always striving to get better.
however, I do know that not everyone's stories end this way. Not all stories can have a happy ending. I give respect and love and courage to everyone who has or is still experiencing the effects of addiction. <3 Stay strong!
I hope this can help :)
sorry for the very long post too.
Thanks for listening,