Newbie: Learning to Use My Voice

For most of my life I felt I could never talk about my experiences growing up with a dad who was a severe alcoholic. If anything bad happened during the week, I was not allowed to say anything to anyone at school the next day and then was also expected to go on pretending as if nothing was wrong. My life was full of chaos and trauma with periods of happiness and stability in between. We could go from one extreme to the next out of nowhere. Even after going through 7 different counselors, graduating college, having a job, and having a strong spiritual foundation in my faith, I still find myself living with the consequences of my childhood. I freak out if nothing goes according to plan, I have a strong need of approval from older mentors in my life, I feel guilty if I need to stand up for myself, I have difficulty expressing what I want and need emotionally, abandonment is my number one fear, my dating life is nonexistent for fear that someone will hurt me and the list can go on and on. While I worked through many issues in therapy (my last therapy experience was absolutely life-changing and my counselor was an angel) I still feel like there's more work to do. I feel like I need to start talking again, this time with others who can relate to me and maybe even help some others along the way. So, hello there everyone. It's wonderful to meet you. I hope we all can spur each other on, on this crazy journey called life!