Hi, I'm Pol :) 

I'm new to this site, I just joined and am slowly getting my head round it. I thought I'd share my story as I feel pretty isolated if I'm honest. I'm 18 and currently just live with my Mum. All my life my Dad has had issues with drinking, I never saw it as abnormal until I had a meeting with the school nurse (I was clinically depressed and saw her weekly) kept asking about my Dad's alcohol problem, that's when I realised it wasn't normal. Although he continued to abuse alcohol, it was quite stable, he would drink every night but I coped with it. When I was 14/15 I attempted suicide for the first time and this seemed to spark off my Dad to drink even more. I remember coming home from college one day and I found him on the floor and I thought he was dead, I cried and I was screaming at my Mum to get me out of there, I stayed at my sisters for a short while after this. His drinking just kept getting worse until my Mum made him leave due to the negative impact he had on my mental health, eventually he was accepted into rehab, the clinic in our area only had 2 week stays, it helped me Dad whilst he was in there, but the same day he got out he drank again, I ended up attempting suicide again. Since then my Dad has been in and out of rehab. Eventually the government funded him a 6 week stay at a rehab unit some way away, we all thought he had got better but he relapsed just before christmas, I don't really know what to do anymore. I don't know anyone else who have parents who are addicts, I feel I'm not allowed to be upset because I'm 18 and meant to be an adult. 

My Dad being an addict has affected so much of my life, I am re-starting college for the third time, I am scared of going near people who are under the influence and I have been asked to grow up quite quickly. I've always seen my Dad being an addict as a negative thing, but I'm trying to turn it into a positive thing, I've been through a lot of different experiences and felt very isolated, I don't want other people who are going through this to feel like I have, I really want to let other people they aren't alone. I got to the point where I tried to take my own life and I really don't want anyone else to feel that bad and face these things alone.