My own private hell

  Hi, I am so glad I found this site.  I am an adult living with my Mom (long story as to why) and she is an alcoholic.  I have 2 sisters who are married and have their own families.  I am disabled and unable to work and I'm on a VERY limited income.  My mother has be drinking for a very long time now.  My parents have been divorced for I believe 15 years now.  I am at my wits end as to what to do to try and help her.  She is in TOTAL and COMPLETE DENIAL about her drinking.  She has had to go to the hospital on NUMEROUS occasions due to her drinking.  She will be fine and happy during the day but once night comes, she'll go into her room and drink.  Her mood from being happy during the day to the nighttime after she's been drinking is COMPLETELY different.  She becomes verbally abusive and she'll say things to me like "You're a loser".  "You don't deserve to live."  "Why don't you commit suicide?"  There were also times when she would be physically abusive.  One time she dropped a package of frozen meat on my head and another time she punched me in my head.  I'm walking on egg shells because when she gets like this, I want to be VERY careful not to "set her off."   The thing is, I'm living in my own private hell.  I live with this every day.  Her eyes become bloodshot and she slurs her words and she claims it is "because she's tired."  When we go to people's houses, she has no alcohol.  But when she comes home she makes up for it.  I believe the term for that is "closet drinker."  I talk to my sisters about this but they think I'm making it sound worse than it is.  They don't live with it like I do.  I love my Mom so much and it upsets me to the core to see her like this.  I'm sorry this is so long.  I just found this site and this is my first post.   I don't know how to begin to help her.  I am crying as I'm typing this.  Thank you for taking the time to read this.  God bless you.