Hope this helps!

Hello! 

When I was 14 my Mom was a alcoholic. I never ever told anyone about it, to this day the only person who i ever told is my Fiance. I was worried what people would think about me and my Mom! 

My earlest memory is me never wanting to be alone with her, whenever i was actually alone with her, i remember she would always make a arguments out of the smallest things. Thats when my Mom and Dad used argue every single day, me and my little brother would sit with our hands over are ears just so we could block out the shouting. This carried on for a while, and of course things got worse. My Mom used to have this red travel bag and whenever i saw that it ment she was leaving to go and stop at my Nans, it happened that many times it almost became like a routine. 

I remember my Mom going to AA meetings and that she was 'better', i knew that was a lie. Things got more normal for a few weeks, but then i realised all my Mom drank was coke and whenever she poured herself a drink she would go into our outer house, where the washing machine and the freezer is with her drink. I instantly knew she was hiding bottles of alcohol in the washing basket, when she used to go to the toilet i used to go and check and yup of course there would bottles hidden everywhere. I never used to tell me Dad that i found bottles because i was scared he would divorce her and leave me and my little brother with her ( of course he never would of). Again this carried on for while but much worse then last time, one time she must of been drunk and me and my little brother was in the car with her driving and she began to fall asleep, i kept having to shout MOM just so she would stay awake. She used to fall asleep on the sofa and i wouldnt be able to wake her up, used to ask me for money but told me not to tell my Dad. 

It started to become that bad i used to pray to the stars to make my Mom better, everyday when i came home i used to pray she was awake because if she asleep i knew i wouldnt be able to wake her. While all this was happening i was getting picked on at school!! I used to say i dont care if i get bullied aslong as my mom is okay. 

One day i came home as normal, my Mom was laying on the floor collapsed big bottle of alcohol basically all gone. She had tried to kill herself. I went into shock, thank god my Dad had finished work early he walked in and i told him Mom was on the floor. That day my Mom went to rehab. 

It has now been 6 years, my Mom has not had a drink of alcohol since that day. I am now 20, I will never forgive my Mom for making me grow up far too early, but she is my best friend and i tell her everything and i know she will never forgive herself for putting me through what she did.

Things will get better, might not happen has fast as you want it too but i promise it will, Hope this helps someone! X 

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