Well to start off, my name is (removed by moderator). I've dealt with an alcoholic mother my entire life and it has affected my life significantly. My mother is not physically abusive but emotionally and verbally. My father has rarely been in my life. My mother owns rental property and buys/sells houses. When she is sober, she can be nice. She's never been a loving mother which has caused me to push away anyone in my life that tries to show me love and affection. When she drinks, I am her main target if not my grandma. She will tell me I am the cause of her problems and will make sure I know how much I have ruined her life and how I've held her back from being great. My mother's addiction did not start when I was born. My grandma told me when she was in college, she got into a relationship with a man much older than her and he would beat her and (removed by moderator) and taze her. My mother refuses to allow me to be happy. If she is drunk and I want to be around friends, she calls me numerous times and yells and screams, cusses. Everything. All of my friends hear. There's been times where she has come to where we're are and yell and cuss at me or my friends. I have a hard time being happy. I got a job to pay for my car and I can't even get away from her there. She goes to my job all the time to get tea or food. Keep in mind, I live in a small town and her name is known due to her properties and connections. Long story short, it's extremely embarrassing and depressing to me. I still love my mother but I cannot say the same about her.