Newbie - My Story


My mum was a long term alcoholic, ever since the age of 5 was when I really noticed it and it affected our lives (Im 14 now). Last year she passed away and at the time I didn't really feeel anything, she'd caused so much pain and havoc in our lives I felt no emotion or sadness, I tried to find it but nothing came. I cried at the funeral, and then a year later it's all just come back to me. I regret not doing anything more it's her, all the good moments we shared I wish I'd valued them more and told her I'd loved her more. Now I'm not sure how to deal with these feelings because whenever I speak to someone or the topic of alcohol comes up I just get really panicky and chokey. Also, because of our situation at home, I never got the chance to have friends round at my house and so vide Verda I was never really invited and it's still the same now, I'm always the brunt of a joke, the one being mocked, the one having all the beef and I can't seem to help it. I don't want it but i just have it. My dad became an alcoholic after my mum passed and he went to rehab in dcecber and I'm glad to say he's recovered and sober since but I still see aspects of him in the old version of him that I don't want to see and I just don't feel he's the same dad I used to know and I'm really struggling with that? If anyone has been in a similar situation I'd be glad to hear how you dealt or are dealing with it.