The last straw

Hi, I’m just new to this, it’s my first post. My dads a functioning alcoholic, works until around 1pm whenever he can be bothered as he is self employed , hits the pub , buys drink and continues at home before falling asleep before me or my mum are even home from work. I’m also at university just finishing my third year, my whole life is upside down with him, I take medication for anxiety and depression because of him, I worry daily about the house and my poor wee dog in with him as he could fall asleep with the oven on or leave the door open, it’s not him I care about anymore he doesn’t care about himself as he’s killing him self, I’m past that, it’s my mum and her house and the dog, my mum has a great job, she deserves the world. I’m an only child too so I don’t have anyone else. I recently gave him money to borrow to pay his insurance bill , yet he hasn’t paid me back as he hasn’t had much work on yet still has money to drink and I also have money missing from my bedroom, it must have been him as it is only me him and my mum in the house. This was the last straw for me. He’s ruining my life on a daily basis and at 20 years old I shouldn’t need to worry about all this. I don’t know what to do anymore , he doesn’t think he has a problem and won’t see a doctor or anything. I can’t cope any more with him and my mum has tried everything. I have a great relationship with her, but him living in this house is dragging us apart too as I complete isolate myself and stay in my room when I’m not at uni or work or my football training. My dads sister also lives beside us, she has tried to speak to him but he simply won’t accept he has a problem, anytime my mum or her try to talk to him he changes conversation or leaves, I eat it may be difficult for him as it’s an addiction, but why can’t he see what he is doing / has done to his only child, I can say easily I have had a horrendous childhood, but that isn’t fair as my mum is an outstanding woman, yet he’s ruining it all for me. I was very very close to my grandad who passed away two years ago and it has hit me even more since then, he was my best friend and my world and without him I feel like nothing, he was my father figure. I have been given a mental health care number by my doctor to call as she doesn’t want me on medication for ever of course and I’ve been on them for around a year now, I’m just too scared to call at the moment even though I know it will be ok it’s difficult, that’s why I’ve resorted to this for the meantime , behind a keyboard nobody knows me and I can get everything out. I’m struggling big time.

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