hi im new

hi im not sure what im supposed to write here, im new to this, i suppose i should write about myself and explain why ive joined,im corrie, im 23 yrs old, i have 3 little girls and live with my fiance, my dad is an alcoholic, i dont speak to him at the minute things r very strained between us, we havent spoken for about 7 months now that may not seem like long to some people but to me it feels like an eternity, i only live 5 doors away from my dad, i see him every day as i have to walk by his house on way to taking my kids to school. my dad has been an alcoholic for as long as i can remember it started out he would just have a few drinks after work he would say he had had a hard shift and needed to relax, as the yrs went on it gradually got worse and worse its been at its peak for the last 4 yrs, he has ended up in hospital a few times now, and been detoxed twice but as soon as he got home and had money it would start again he would get as drunk as he could, he has recently been diagnosed with parkinsons which has given him something else to make him want drink he feels the need to drown his sorrows all the time he craves attention he wants people to feel sorry for him all the time, he is on the dole at the minute which means he never has much money so he borrows off anyone he can, old people, young people whoever talks to him he will come up with a story that he has no electric or gas and asks for money which if he gets he spends on drink, to say im ashamed of what he has done to get money would be an understatement, im getting married in 2010 and have the difficult task of deciding what im going to do about who will walk me down the aisle and wether or not i should invite him u see we all went to a relatives birthday party and my dad ws so drunk he had to be propped up all nite and carried to the bus and taken home, he has done this so many times now embarresed our family and not had a care in the world so long as he got drink out of it im at my wits end now its constantly in my mind i worry what my kids think when they see him if he is outside when we pass his house they see him drunk every day although i dont talk to him the kids always say hello. my mam coped with this for 15 yrs and in the end could take it no longer and left him she now lives with someone else who i cant help sometimes wishing was my real dad, ive tried talking to family about him but they r all getting on with their lives and try to forget about him where as i obviously cant do that i need someone to talk to someone to understand how im feeling, to know what its like when u just cant get it out of ur head its always there niggling away no matter what u do.