Im new and just wanted someone to talk to..

Hello I think I did this a bit wrong, I posted a blog and Im not sure whether you were supposed to do this first so sorry if I posted twice.

Im 20.

Basically my mum drinks way too much and I am the only one who seems to be bothered about it. My little brother is 6 and he thinks its normal that mum drinks and my little sister doesnt want anything to do with her.

I refuse to give up on my mum, but I dont know who to talk to? I try talking to my boyfriend as his parents also have alcohol problems, but he has accepted the fact that his parents are this way and doesnt seem to bothered about it and thinks that I should be the same, but like I said I dont want to give up and just get used to it.

There are some other things that I struggle to cope with and have thought about seeing a counsellor to talk to, but I get so scared that if I talk to someone like that then they will have my mum taken away or my brother and sister (although they are in no danger whatsoever or I would have taken them away myself) so instead I just bottle it up inside. I dont live with my mum anymore because I couldnt cope and she was constantly leaving me with my little brother, so I thought if I left she might have to grow up a bit and she might have a better relationship with him and whilst her relationship with my brother is alot better, she still drinks too much and now I feel so guilty that I left my brother and sister to deal with it. Im also waiting for the day when they turn to me for help as their dad (they are only my half brother and sister) is in and out of prison (sounds so terrible) and now wants nothing to do with them only when he decides and when it will look good on his bail if he is having contact with the kids, this too has had an effect on me because he was like my second dad and noone considers the effect this had on me because it seems like im not bothered when really I bottle it all up.

Ive just ran out of ideas of what to do and I feel like Im sinking deeper and deeper inside myself that I dont feel like Im me anymore. I feel trapped inside some person who is trying to be someone else (if that makes any sense). How can I get it through to my mum what she is doing and the effect it is having on all of us? I just want to stop it intime before my brother and sister end up as confused as me because I dont think that they could cope as well.

Please help, if you have any advice I would love to hear it. thank you, Annie xx

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