coping is hard

i dont really no what to do yet but here goes anyway ... my mum has a problem with alchohol and now its worse then ever. in the begining it started because my mum and dad was splittin up and going through a divorse. she doesnt like sit at home all day everyday drinking from the moment she gets up till when she goes to bed, its just as soon as she's back from work. this has been ongoing for three years now. this time last year i moved out from my mums because i couldnt take it anyway more. it was just gettin worse and worse. we ended up fightin with each other, arguin and she even jumped out the window from her bedroom because we locked all the doors. i lost all my self confidance, alot of weight and didnt do good in my gcse's. after not speakin to my mum for several months we started textin again and i went round to talk about were everythin went wrong. she said to me she wasn't drinkin anymore, i believed her. i moved back and for the first couple of weeks everythin was fine. then she started on the drink. i let it slip the first couple of times but then i had to say somethin. she just said i'm not an alchoholic i just enjoy a drink. but theres havin the oocasional drink and theres drinkin 4 bottles of wine a night. she just gets so emotional and trys to blame her problems on everyone else. and now i hate going home after college because ill no she'll be drunk and all i want is my mum to be sober and ask me how my days bin and stuff. my nan and dad hate me going round there because they no how it makes me feel. in a way i feel like i have to be there for my mum to try and help and look after her. but i just feel like now shes passed my help and she wont have it anyway, she needs propa help, but she wont get it because she denies having a problem she ses drinkin is her way of copin, but she needs to understand how it makes me feel. when all i want her to be is a propa mum. i no my problem isnt as bad as some peoples but this is a big problem in my life and to speak to someone in a similar situation would be great. i hope i hear from you soon.

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