Vicious Circle

Hi I'm Kate 25. My mum moved me away from a village when I was 5 my mum and dad split. She got with my stepdad. I don't think I realised she had a problem. The first day I did, my new school I was bullied I came home after running out to find my mum listening to motown in the dinning room her coat on in the dark slumped on a chair. I never forget that look she has it sinks my heart everytime i see it now, and everytime it hurts just as much. My stepdad is an absoulte star - I love him. He loves her so much but is now on anti - depressants because of the stress. She did get better and her binges were once every 6 months, for about 5 yrs then once every 3 months for the last 5. These lasting for about 1 wk 2 tops. She went through a stage of over dosing with anti depressants, she would ring me up and tell me. It killed me. I'm a single parent I live on my own and I have a full time job. When my mum wasn't bingeing so much she would pick up my daughter. But now I can't have her around my daughter and i'm worried i'll loose my job and my house. It's a vicious circle, i'm losing my mum and i can't stop it she was my best friend - and now it's someone with my mums reflection. I miss my sober mum ! xx