Hey, I heard about this website in the magazine and decided to come on. I'm not sure what to say or where to begin really. I was looking for somewhere to go where people would understabd, and this sounds like that place. I think my mum is an alcoholic. She doesn't think so but me and my family know she is. I'm 18 now but its been like this on and off since i was aboout 12. She doesn't drink constantly, but when she drank, usually aboout 3times a week, she would drink so much she'd never remeber it, and then either smash up our house, cry on my shoulder, or tell me what a crap daughter i am. I couldn't deal with it, I stayed with my cousin for awhile when I was 13, then I moved in with my nan when I was 16. I found my own place to live when I was 17. My nan was a great support, We used to live with her until i was six, then i spent everyday there until i went to secondary school. She was the world to me and I knew I could always rely on her. But she died the week before christmas unexpectedly, and I feel totally lost now. I don't know what to do without her. And losing her mother has sent my mum off the walls again. I'm afraid for my little brother too, he's only eight and I don't want him to go through what I did. I had a good enough childhood, but I'll never forget hearing things from my mum that no child should, or wishing that I could just sleep a whole night without her coming into me. I don't really know how to get through to her?