Alcoholic Mum

Hi, I'm Wendy and I'd like to share my experience with an alcoholic parent so that if there is anyone in the same position, my advice may help. First of all, I am 16 ..well I'll be 17 at the end of july so I'm still pretty young. I have just moved out and into my own flat with my boyfriend, got a new job and pieced my life together. Sounds like my life is cosy and I'm happy? Well, it's the exact opposite. From the age of about 2, there are actually times I can remember my mum drinking that strong smelling stuff that made her fall over and act strangely. Little did I know that it was alcohol. Every night as I lay in bed, I could always hear my Mum and Dad screaming at each other. I didn't know why. There are a collection of times I remember getting in the car with my Mum and she'd forget to put mine and my brothers seatbelt on. He is one and a half years younger than me so when I think about it ..all these fragile moments of his life and he could so easily have been killed. So ..we used to get in the car and she'd forget to put out seatbelts on. I hated wearing them usually but when she forget I longed for her to put it on. She was always swivelling the car and forgetting to stop at lights. I remember once the police even stopped us. At the age of around 4, and my brother (moderator removed name) was 3, my Mum and Dad were screaming at one an other worse than usual. We eventually fell asleep but woke in the morning to find my Mum wasn't there. We asked Dad here she was and he replied that she was staying with a friend. Something told me he was lying. As I was dosing off the night before I remembered hearing my Dad on the phone to someone and the mention of 'hospital' and 'police'. I immediately knew he was lying but didn't know what about. When I got older i found out that on that night she had actually drank a bottle of vodka along with pain killers having tried to take an overdose. She was found and recovered in hospital. There are so many more events which happened but there are far too many to go into. I was 5 years old when my Mum and Dad split up. To start off with, we lived with my Dad, and my Mum didn't want anything to do with us because she'd actually left my Dad for someone 11 years younger than her who was a good friend of the family. A few months down the line my Mum decided she wanted me and my Darren back so we went to live with her (as she was given full custody) and she stopped us from seeing my Dad. If he phoned us, my Mum would monitor our calls, and tell us what we could and couldn't say. We then moved into a cottage flat and my Mum's new young boyfriend, (moderator removed name) moved in with us. I hated him, he hated me. I don't know why we felt this way ..he didn't like the fact that I was so close to my Dad perhaps. My Mum and (moderator removed  name) bought a house in Bellshill and by November 4th 2002, we had a new addition to the family, my half brother, (moderator removed name). Nobody explained to me that this was (moderator removed name) child with my Mum and I was horribly confused. I was really angry around this time and (moderator removed  name) and I were really not getting on. I was hardly ever allowed out and when I was it was only for about 10 minutes anyway. Following the birth of (moderator removed name), my Mum and (moderator removed name)bought a bigger 4 bedroom house in Cambuslang where we moved shortly after. My Mum tells everyone that we only moved because I said I'd kill myself if we didn't but I still don't understand what that lie was. My time in that house was torture. My relationship with my Mum and (moderator removed name) deteriorated and I was made out to be the devil and locked in my room for months on end (I was allowed to go to school and have food, just not allowed to have a social life or do normal things). Lots of events happened, including one in which I was raped by my then-friend. This had a great toll on me and I could no longer cope as my Mum and (moderator removed name) were saying it was my fault so moved in with my gran. Many more events took place and I wanted to go home to my Mum but (moderator removed name) would not let me. Eventually my Mum left hime to have me back in the house at the end of 2009 but her drinking was getting out of order.At the beginning of 2010 my Mum got caught drink driving again but tried to lie to the police, however I was reluctant to tell the truth, not to be nasty but I was worried that she could have killed someone. A few weeks on a she was drink driving again, until present. I had to contact social services and have (moderator removed name) taken off her because she was putting his life in extreme danger. This all happened less than a week ago. Still, my Mum chooses to drink every night instead of getting help for her addiction and fighting for her children. My Mum has not once asked about the rape ..fair enough maybe she doesn't want to upset me but she never said sorry for doubting me or asking how I feel. She did now ask (moderator removed name) how his exams went a few weeks ago and she isn't bothered about (moderator removed name) being away as long as she has wine. I just want to highlight the importance of this. How something that should seem so innocent and legal is actually putting so many peoples lives at risk. I should have done something sooner. I would like to let people know you are not alone and that there is help and that goes for anyone with parents of any addiction. Unfortunately, not all addicts seek help and fail to admit they have a problem, but don't give up hope - all you can do is try. If anyone has any questions please please please feel free to ask. I will not judge you any everything you tell me goes know further.Thanks for taking the time to read my story.

Forums: