Coping with alcoholic parent over a long period on your own?

I'm kind of struggling at the moment... really don't know how to deal with having one alcoholic parent and the other one being dead from alcoholism.

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Im finding it hard....

From the age of about 11-13 i would hurt myself. i self harmed because i though i deserved it. i thought this because my mum has been drinking for as long as i can remember, and during one of many arguements i have had with her about her drinking problem, i asked her why she drank. and she told me "because i cant make my children happy". Now, to my young eleven year old ears all i heard was "i drink becuase of you". So i blamed myself, i thought  was the reason she drank becuase, i thougt i was a bad daughter.

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My Mother

My mom was a drinker before my brother and I were even born, possibly before she married my Dad in 1990. She's fifty eight now, and my dad is sixty, and she is still drinking. She's been to the hospital countless times for various reasons due to the drinking, she's been in and out of rehab all my life, and not to mention the turmoil and damage to me and my brother's emotional well being. Two years ago I was diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder, and my brother with GAD.

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Alcohol

I have spent the entirety of my teenage years dealing with my mum's alcohol addiction, but recently it has all become too much. Two years ago, just before I left for uni, my dad left (I do not blame him at all, he still lives nearby and we are very close) but it has left me facing what he shielded me and my siblings from for so long. I am living with the constant guilt of leaving my 3 younger siblings at home with my mother when I return to university.

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I'm not really sure what to call this

About 3 weeks ago, two days before my birthday, my mum was arrested. She works as a nurse and was accused of stealing from a patient. She was told that the police would be making a visit earlier that day, but instead of preparing herself, she went to sleep. The house was extremely untidy, so I felt the need to quickly tidy and Hoover, but I was interrupted by the 4 policemen and women at my door. I have five very noisy, but harmless dogs which decided to run outside and jump all over these very official looking men and women.

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The Radio - Sandra and Georgina

Hi all,

I wanted to start a forum on the recent radio interview that Georgina did that is posted up on COAP as Sandra (not real name) is my mum! She is now three months sober which is a drop in the ocean of the 30 years she has been drinking. Out of those she has probably been drinking alcoholically since I was actually about 5 (I'm 26 now).

It prompted me to get in touch with the radio station to share my point of view and I wanted to share this with my COAP friends. My mum and I appeared on the station on Monday and here is the link:

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im new!

hi everyone, 

just wanted to say that im new here, my counsellor recommend COAP because it feels like im the only oerson going through this but its such a relief to see so many other people are going through the same thing and know im not alone. 

its nice to meet you all.

lottiebolottie xxx

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Head all over the place

Hi,

The last couple of weeks have been really difficult and I dont really know why. The situation hasnt really changed but my feelings have.

This week I had my first appointment with my new counsellor who specialises in alcoholism and its effect on the family. This was a really big thing to do and I hope it will be of benefit.

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Said Too Much!

Hi,

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Depressed?

This week seems to be getting worse and mum hasnt even been drinking that much. On monday, I thought I was going to have a breakdown. I had a full blown panick attack and couldnt stop crying. I've been feeling a bit down during the holidays. I had a big row with dad on Monday, he flew off the handle at me, I'm not really sure why. I havent really spoken to him since and with mums drinking, I'm feeling lonely.

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